|This is a painting a painted in high school. I thought it was awesome except the hands...|
I can pick apart my flaws easily:
- I'm fat
- I'm shallow
- I'm arrogant
- I'm ugly
- I'm common
And I guess I'm not. Another dichotomy: both sets of grandparents were well off... my mother chose a different path. So I've tried to be different again. I'm a librarian.
And the one time that being a librarian didn't protect me at the library was when a manager asked me if I knew people thought I was arrogant. I'm arrogant to a certain degree, but I would like to think that it isn't my defining quality.
The manager thought so.
I tried to explain that what some people thought was arrogant was just... knowing things. I know things. I don't even say it unless something is blatenly wrong... or blatenly opposite of what I believe. Or I have opinions. Strong opinions. You would think that is a good thing, but I guess they come across arrogant.
I've tried to be less domineering, less opinionated... less... everything. It didn't work.
Then I thought to myself. I am allowed to be who I am. I am allowed to be a girl that used to have purple hair, but wears blue cardigans now. I allow myself to play video games and not try to force myself to knit. I allow myself to be myself. I am a good person. A goddess. Esse quam videri...or