Day 3: Independence [Be Gentle Be Love]

Freak Flag: my cute online made freak flag is here: http://pbskids.org/cgi-registry/shareables/retrieve.pl?044bceabe86e76d0.

Freak flag is so 1960s. But I like to let my independence fly. I'm even a Texan at heart and not particularly an "American". We do it big in Texas. Independence probably means different things to different people. I feel I've always been independent, but then I also have to realize that I've ALSO always relied on "the kindness of strangers." My mother told me a couple of times about how really independent I was even when I was little. In kindergarten, I waved goodbye to her while the rest of the kids were crying. She says it always broke her heart that I didn't need her. The problem is that I DID need her, just not in the way she wanted to be needed. I'm an extremely needy person, although it usually ends up looking like drama queen, or high strung, or bossy. I think anyways.

• How are you bucking the system?

I go to an all inclusive church--Unitarian Universalist. So obscure that even spellcheck says its wrong... hmm. I believe in love and the goodness in all people. I think a lot of people don't believe that. Well even I'm trying to be like that. I speak my mind and I've been told on multiple times that is a good thing. I've also been told multiple times to shut my mouth. :) I'm also trying to get over the keeping up with the Joneses attitude which I've always had and just accept myself for who I am and what I contribute to the world.

• How are you living an unconventional life?

Unconventional conventionist. I have a blended family of my sisters kids and my kids. I play video games (a lot) and I'm a 33 year old female. And I don't mean Farmville or Wii Fit. I mean Halo and Red Dead Redemption. I read a lot too. In my circle that is common, but not so common in the general population. I tried to be middle class and gave up. I just asked my husband and he asked me what do I think a conventional woman does--I guess he's hinting at me not cleaning, or cooking. ;) Or he might mean the competitive streak. I don't know. I was the only pregnant lady to march in a gay pride parade last year.

• Do you feel like you are free to make your own choices?

I don't feel that I am free to make my own choices with the amount of children I have. Although that itself was a conscious choice. I could have said no to taking care of kids. I could have had abortions. But I would never have done that. So in certain things, everyday tasks I can make my own choices, but I don't think I am ever going to make "earth shattering" choices again. But you never know.

• Do you have a story about how you won back your independence?

I went back to school in 2003, got therapy and decided that status quo wasn't good enough. Now I'm a librarian doing what I love to do. I think it worked out pretty well. There have been a couple of finding myself moments along the way. That isn't really a story per say but I know what I am talking about. :)

• How are you changing the world with your choices?

Being a better person daily. Being a librarian enables me to help people in ways I find enjoyable. Connecting with the community at large. Being. I don't recycle but I freecycle and up cycle. I'm trying to teach my kids the right way so they can change the world with their choices. Trying to convince my husband to get out of his shell...