Wonder and smell and wonder and coloring. It has been years since I've colored. I went through a saturday morning cartoon and coloring period during my first divorce because I always felt the need to center myself during that time and it was a good way to do it. I don't trust myself often with my hands or with my creativity but I went to work today using some OLD oil pastels of my mothers from the early 80s. I am frankly surprised they still work.
I smudged and smudged with my fingers. This was a way of connecting me with my mother in a way. She's been dead for 2 and a half years and I have daily reminders of her. The bed frame I use was hers, a couple of my kids remind me of her. I'm always expecting her to call.
The oil pastels smelled terrible. They are obviously in the process of breaking down and giving back to the earth. And while I was coloring my three year old wanted my attention with his extremely stinky diaper. Motherhood and memories at it again. My husband changed it so I could continue drawing.
I'm having a really good time just sitting and contemplating. There are clothes all over the floor and its okay. I have been trying to actively let go and just be. My sense of wonder then is a continually evolving thing. Just playing with Picnik and realizing it had so many options trying to get pictures sized right was wonderful. I spent 30 minutes messing with the different options with the picture above.
Its baby feeding time.
No comments:
Post a Comment